Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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