She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
