I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
