So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize