well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am available for nakedness
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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