lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
