Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
