so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
