If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
