Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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