Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
