its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
