Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
