um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
