:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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