I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
ttyl tear gas
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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