yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
