How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
