Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
