i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
