He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
