5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
