T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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