yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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