Dual....:-)
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
