Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Still dying that you shit outside
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
