Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
