Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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