He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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