There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize