Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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