I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
