Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
