i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
