that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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