I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
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