wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize