I'm really into asian looking animals
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
