He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
