I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize