The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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