Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
