You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
