There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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