So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
