Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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