i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
