yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
