??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
