I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
