I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
