I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
