its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What a dumb baby whore.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
