apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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