I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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