the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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