hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Is it because I queefed?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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