That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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