girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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