Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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