you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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