She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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